The Michael Richards Show - the first post-Seinfeld sitcom by a Seinfeld alum - came and went as quickly as Kramer used to burst through Jerry's door. Then Jason Alexander (George) starred for about a week in Bob Patterson, a wholly unmotivating show about a motivational speaker. Now, Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine) has her own unfunny sitcom, which is but a pale imitation of television's original “show about nothing.” Its gimmick is that it takes place in real time and, ironically, Watching Ellie is likely to be best remembered for the on-screen clock that helps bored viewers count down the minutes remaining in each episode.

But don't expect the TV networks to be deterred by the track record of the Seinfeld alumni. Developing fresh ideas is hard to do and featuring new talent is risky, so you can be sure that the network execs will be greenlighting still more (bad) spinoffs, knockoffs and star vehicles for actors from hit shows.

West Cave. Aaron Sorkin follows up his hit West Wing with a show about Osama bin Laden and the dangers of American prejudice against Islamic terrorists. First Episode: Envious of Yasir Arafat's appearance on the Op-Ed page of The New York Times, Osama's advisers debate whether Osama (Nathan Lane) should submit a “Talk of the Town” piece to The New Yorker. Christina Applegate plays Osama's burka-clad but sassy receptionist. Special Guest Star: Charlie Sheen as Akbar, Osama's devil-may-care younger brother. Alternate title: Just Bomb Me.

North Dakota Med. David E. Kelly, the man who made law firms look fun in L.A. Law, does it again with another preachy drama bearing little relation to reality. Quirky medical students and faculty members - together with the school's man-hungry general counsel (Lucy Liu) - get through a desolate plains winter by arguing about affirmative action, managed care and whether North Dakota should change its name to just plain Dakota. Yiddish-stage actor and Kelly veteran Fyvush Finkel plays the med school's crusty old dean with a heart of gold, who spends much of each episode hitting on Liu unsuccessfully and wondering aloud how on Earth he ended up in Bismarck. Caution: Contains adult language and gratuitous courtroom scenes. Viewer discretion advised.

CNN-Fox News. CNN sparked controversy by hiring as a news anchor Andrea Thompson, an actress and onetime nude model who was best known for starring on the popular police drama, NYPD Blue. In a stunning countermove, CNN's archrival, Fox News, hires Blue's Dennis Franz (“Andy Sipowicz”) to anchor his own news program, passing over an increasingly testy Ted Koppel in the process. Following Thompson's sudden resignation from Headline News, CNN steals a page from the Fox playbook and announces that Thompson's successor will be decided by a celebrity boxing match between Amy Fisher and Tonya Harding. Meanwhile, Fox News defends its decision to hire Franz by running a controversial ad declaring that the character actor is “provocative, super-smart, and just a little bit sexy.” Fox News “personality” Geraldo Rivera decries Franz's lack of journalistic experience, but expresses relief that no nude photos of Franz are found.

Law & Order 19: Accounting Irregularities Unit. In this story ripped from the headlines, the “AIU” goes after Manhattan-based commodities trader Endrun Inc. and accounting firm Andrew Arthursen for financial fraud. In a twist on the original L & O formula, the first season focuses exclusively on detective work, as AIU investigators comb through stacks of corporate ledgers - in real time. In the second season of “all-new” episodes, the squad's forensic accountants take the stand to testify about swaps, derivatives and off-balance-sheet debt. Fresh from his role as federal agent Jack Bauer in the action series 24, Kiefer Sutherland heads the cast as CPA Marvin Rosenbaum.

Friends 2: `Central Perk' West. The much-anticipated spinoff from that Number One comedy set in a faux-New York coffee house (no, not Seinfeld). Ross's ex-wife Carol and her life partner, Susan, are raising Ross's son when Carol suddenly realizes she's not gay after all and moves in with a man, causing Ross to (finally) question his masculinity. The hilarity continues when gay-rights attorney Helen (Ellen DeGeneres) becomes involved with Susan and convinces her to sue her ex. Special Guest: that guy who played lawyer Jackie Chiles on Seinfeld.

Imagine That! Having paid the cast of Friends enough money to fund the Pentagon - with enough left over to keep Sex and the City's Sarah Jessica Parker in Manolo Blahnik shoes for life - NBC is forced by budget cuts to come up with one of the most unusual network shows in years. Starring Maris (Niles's ex-wife from Frasier), Stan (Karen's jailbird husband from Will & Grace), and Vera (Norm's wife from Cheers), this sitcom is cast entirely with off-screen actors whom the audience never sees or hears. It is, as George Costanza would say, a show about nothing.